Month: May 2019

Blooming Heart

To compare faith I imagine it as a sunrise. A calming, in awe moment that I choose each morning when I wake. There is no work that needs to be done when experiencing something that our heart and soul indulges in, this is what I love most. The ease and acceptance in watching something unfold in elegance. I step out and choose to believe in what rises and I accept the truth in what does not.

I’ve experienced people around me in despair because of impatience, lack of result, doubt, anxiety and the simple fact of not knowing how to walk in faith.

Patience is a virtue. Virtue is defined by nobleness of spirit, honesty and purity. Patience is one of the hardest struggles we face, we want and we want now. Imagine that we live a life while creation is happening behind the scenes, something so intangible we have yet to understand. This is how I imagine patience. A process happening and the stillness before the action of soon aligning.

“When you plant seeds in the garden, you don’t dig them up everyday to see if they have sprouted yet. You simply water them and clear away the weeds – you know that the seeds will grow in time. Similarly, just do your daily practice and cultivate a kind heart. Abandon impatience and instead be content creating the causes for goodness; the results will come when they’re ready.” Bhikshuni Chodron

Results are not always immediate. Often times we become frustrated because all of our physical work and determined actions still have us at a distance of what we’re working towards. All the sweat and tears… yet we’re still waiting. Why is this happening? The reasons could be endless. Whether we are working towards something that does not yet have purpose or what we’re working towards isn’t ready for us… We often become comfortable with pain and unsatisfying results that we forget to be vulnerable. There is divine purpose that I believe in that causes people to stress when it could be transformed to overall peace. Trust in this.

Transformation is not always a jaw dropping experience, a surprise or gasp for air. Sometimes transformation happens slowly and sometimes it happens right before our eyes. We can be working on something for so long we forget our reason. We can be taken for a whirlwind and think that everything we thought we wanted is exactly opposite of what we’re presented with. Maybe it will be greater than what we imagined.

There does not need to be doubt in something we have little control over. It is inevitable that we make choices, this is how we survive – but understand that faith alone is promising you overall guidance, growth and destination. Doubting this will make you feel alone, but you are not and you will never be.

Regardless of the time it takes, you will get where you are meant to travel. You will be who you are called to be. As long as you focus on the small transformations and God given joys you will be at peace. There will come a time that you will find you are no longer tense, worried or distraught.

Always have the courage to keep going and when it seems harder than usual, communicate. You will ask God to come into your life. You will live in faith and through trust. You will realize that all the hard work isn’t hard at all. You will not be the one working – Trust in this process. Allow time by understanding you are dealing with a craftsman. There are fine details that need focus and attention – but understand you can relax because God is good. God is working. God is here.

Opening my heart has been one of the most beautiful processes I’ve ever gone through. I am softer than I’ve ever been. I move like wind, becoming light and approachable. I am a river flowing around obstacles, continuing on my way in grace. Not one thing can stop me. I have been planted and I will grow. In the unknowing and the unseen I will trust that I am on my way to blooming. There is no need for worry. Today is the day.

The sunset reminds me of trust. That although the day has come to an end, another beginning is near by. We lay our head and close our eyes knowing that the promise of another day is one sleep away. The next morning the sunrise deserves to be trusted. The day has arrived and so will you. Again and again, dear God I am with you.

-Sadianne Joyce

Nourishment in Imperfection

“Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt. Chase after money and serenity and your heart will never unclench. Care about peoples approval and you will be their prisoner.” Lao Tzu

Trying to reach perfection can steal time in admiring what already is. Acceptance isn’t an easy task and can often be hard to understand. Acceptance comes from a place deep within our hearts. It is respecting the fact that situations rarely go the way we imagine. There are aspects of ourselves that we wish were different. There are traits in others we would change if we could. Acceptance is finding flaws to pamper with love by whispering “It’s okay.”

Personally, imperfection inspires me. I love the truth behind being nervous before saying something I truly mean. The absence of practice before performing a task. Feeling creative and free enough to design without a template. Dancing without hearing any music. Feeling without regret. This is what makes life beautiful, all the risk and freedom we give ourselves when we allow ourselves to be. Being inspired by all I cannot change brings me closer to my relationship with God – I have a sense of belonging when I walk in authenticity. I find beauty in the unknown when I step forward in faith. If we were meant to be perfect, we would be. Be confident in all your perks – rare emotions – stories that bring others closer to laughter than seriousness – the feel-good days AND the days you wish to stay in – feeling deeply on a topic when others glance over – stay unapologetic and never feel the need to shrink yourself smaller to fit into the comfort of someone else. Believe that you are enough even when others put expectation and weight on being more than what you can give.

When I was away at school there was a moment of admiration when I learned about Kintsukuroi. Kintsukuroi stayed with me throughout the years as a reminder that flaws are an art form. In Japan they began filling broken pottery with gold. When a piece was broken they didn’t see it as an outcome of failure, they saw it as an opportunity to create something even more beautiful than it was before the hardship.

Movement of making something more beautiful and accepted after being flawed is a way of life. Never feel that you have fallen short after being your true self. You are capable of wide greatness in all that you are. Everything you need is within you and it is extraordinary. Developing and practicing this mindset allows you to admire the truth, love with kindness and understand that even when a situation doesn’t end in the way we thought it would, there is rooted purpose into higher creation. Imperfection does not ruin – it interests, enhances and speaks life into who we are and what we stand for.

Nourish the parts that shy away because they do not appear to be perfected. Like talents, our imperfections set us apart with the blessing in what defines our individual purpose.

-Sadianne Joyce

Normality is a paved road: It’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow -Vincent van Gogh

Held to Rising

From a woman, born the same way you were. From a woman who had enough strength in her bones to birth you, to release you into a world not knowing what your purpose would be. Maybe not even knowing her own purpose yet – you arrived.

To all mothers and their strength to carry us, to free us and maybe even watch us grow. The first sound, a cry into the air of a space that others are present and witnessing. This is the beginning of a life granted. A moment so beautiful everyone in the room cries. We cry with our mother, we cry with the others. A yell into life, a sound so powerful. Make it be true for the rest of the time you are given, even if it takes a few seconds of silence before you release. Please don’t be afraid to make your sound. Continue to let them hear and be aware of your presence.

I was loved before I was kissed. I had hearts believing in me before I knew what it meant to believe in myself. I was held by beauty when my small legs met life. My legs went kicking, awakening the morning as if I was practicing the run I would have along the moon time and time again. I was born this way. Wild. Free. Sometimes restless, always perceived. Ready to take chances and cherish those who cheered and stood alongside.

I was not only heard on that day but felt then as you feel me now.

There is a breathing aura that fills up the space between these words and the color of your eyes. A connection between my heart and yours. Spreading through the distance between what you see and what you feel. These kicking legs can be kept up with – for those who know how to run.

How these legs have grown to long silk, I am aware of the transformation that has developed and in tune with what is still occurring.

To those who are raised with purpose. To those still questioning what their noise means. To those who have no doubts and to those who have not one clue. You were brought into this world to feel all of this, the purpose of where you are currently started from a seed, look how you’ve grown – you are not done.

Run into the question. Bloom into the certainty of reason. The strength lays not only in your mothers bones but now in yours. Always allow your movement to be taken in. Between the distance of your thoughts and the sight of the moon, I will be known as you will be felt.

Let’s blossom, from morning to night. Let’s take off, from being held to our capability of rising. Let’s continue to carry praise and release even more than what was ever expected.

-Sadianne Joyce

A Hummingbird’s Reflection

I remember sitting carefully watching a hummingbird fly in and out of my view. How can a rib cage that small protect a heart that is so vital for survival? How is it possible that something so tiny be so full of life, fast and ready for flight? The color in the feathers gleamed with a glow that felt outside of realities possibilities. The movement of it’s wings were sound of vibration. This small being moved in balance of ease and determination, knowing it was capable.

If a hummingbird were to fly into war, I imagine that all would stop and soon gather around its graceful movement. An intriguing presence would make the battle hush and all would factor the delicacy of its being. Silence would overcome any battleground and because they chose to hear the music, they would be in awe of the noise its body made.

A realization takes place when we mirror the importance of existence. If we wonder upon others with such observation and elegance, it’ll be easier to focus on our equality of worth. We often lack an understanding of empathy. Empathy is often mistaken as wrong or weakness. It’s possible that we are used to living in a world of controversy, judgement and expectation. When we forget to show sensitivity towards others we are forgetting to love the very creation of what brought us all here. Every judgement we make, assumption or fight we choose – we are deciding to be a reflection of that very decision. Whether we choose to see beauty or darkness, the result will speak on our own existence and reflect in our own being. Whether we become better or bitter, we will become the energy of our own response. Our capability of embracing the worth of even small beings – such as a hummingbird, will be felt. Our capabilities will allow us to attract or repel. Grow or stay.

We may see something, a place or person and question upon it’s depth – how in the world can something be so breathtaking? How can something that cannot speak make me understand? How can a sight take away all my words even when I am not speaking? How can someone silence a room just by the energy of their presence? The answer is simple, we can find it in our own reflection of this astounding possibility. By the beauty we choose to see, by the depths we decide to explore, by the risk we brave, by those we surround ourselves with and by simple care of even the small, we mirror what we take away. We determine the power we give our reflection.

When I see something as delicate and beautiful as a hummingbird I allow myself to be in wonder of all that it is and all that I am. The way we question the possibility of something else’s beauty, know that we are worth the same amount of admiration.

Let a monument feel more monumental because you are standing upon it. Know that you are an experience – people will carry your heart in their own. Awaken others by stepping out and into the light by being God created refinement. Be so loving children and animals can’t help but rest their head in your peace. Treat your heart as if it was protected between the size of a hummingbirds rib cages, worship your delicacy, mirror the strength.

Let us fly into war and come out survivalists because we chose to see the beauty and be the beauty.

-Sadianne Joyce

In the way I show up

Full of spoken words that make people turn their head when they listen. Thinking, wondering.
“How does she so, accurately know about life, love, loss”
Full of spoken words that make people rest their head when they listen. Trusting, relaxing.

“I LOVE RAWNESS SO MUCH. FALSELY STARTED SENTENCES, MISSPELLED WORDS, THINGS THAT YOU CANNOT SAY, THAT YOU HAVE NO WORDS FOR. THE WAY A PERSON’S VOICE CRACKS UP WHEN THEY SING. THE WAY YOU SEE WRINKLES BENEATH THE EYES OF SOMEONE OLDER EACH TIME THEY SMILE. IT MAKES ME BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING DOESN’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT, BUT IT’S FINE. IT IS WHAT MAKES US ALL HUMAN. UNFILTERED. HONEST. IT MAKES ME BELIEVE IN LIFE AGAIN, REMINDING ME THAT THERE ARE STILL A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL THINGS LEFT IN THIS WORLD.”

This is all I can be, this is all I’m supposed to be. Allow my pure truth to give you the same freedom in being exactly who you are. I wish to have the bravery to continue on in this way – movement in honesty and movement in raw expression. When you accept me for all that I am, I accept you in all that you are.

We all know more than we allow ourselves to speak on… This is because we are fearsome of being judged. We are fearsome of showing that we’ve experienced so much. We are set back when others have strong emotions because we are not used to speaking upon them. We hold ourselves back from asking questions because then we become vulnerable. When we are vulnerable we are stepping into the light our comfort is not used to. What if we are rejected? What if the answer is not what we had planned to hear?

AS LONG AS YOU’RE TRUE TO YOURSELF, NOTHING ELSE MATTERS – AS LONG AS YOU’RE TRUE TO YOURSELF, YOU ARE ON THE PATH TO SUCCESS.

I am inspired by many things in this life of mine, but not one thing inspires me more than people. Their craft, the way they talk, how they understand, what they create and how their body moves to what attracts them near. We are delicate pieces of a life so huge, we must take care of each other. It’s so easy to hate when we could have greater growth in love. I’ve witnessed many people feel misunderstood because they don’t have a connection with someone who understands in the way they wish to be understood… Sometimes that is nearly impossible, but just because we don’t understand doesn’t mean that we cannot try.

There’s nothing I trust more than someone who is willing to be themselves regardless of the circumstance. There’s nothing I find more attractive than a genuine, expressive heart. When we allow ourselves to be in our most candid and vulnerable state, we are opening a pathway for others to feel the same. On this path I have met some of the most beautiful souls. My greatest friendships have come with the art of sharing. Find these people. Love these people. Be transparent and watch how many will follow and feel free because of it. Allow your people to come to you – Let them bring you anything under the sun, and when you are gifted with the knowing of what that may be, reciprocate in listening, appreciating and never judging. There is a trust that’s gained when we show we aren’t trying to be perfect, that we are arms wide open, saying “accept me not in the way you want me to be, but in the way I show up…”

I am in awe of you.

-Sadianne Joyce