Author: Sadianne Joyce

The Angel in the Marble

Michelangelo believed that instead of sculpting his pieces of art, he only uncovered what was already deep within. I imagine Michelangelo as a deep artist, a philosopher. He truly believed that when others saw him creating, he saw himself as revealing. Beauty existed before he even placed his hands on the material – he had faith in this, staying humble in his outcomes. We all have a duty and individualized gifts that set us apart by purposes and interests. This is how he saw his own – he had the capability to dig into a masterpiece, find it, and reveal it.

“Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it. I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”

-Michelangelo

In the process of revealing sometimes releasing is required. There comes a time when me must learn to let go of what isn’t necessary. And although it may seem like a loss, you may have made room for a masterpiece to reveal itself. Michelangelo trusted in the art of removing and filtering what did not serve purpose. He didn’t dwell in what was lost, he let go and moved forward with even more determination. I imagine him smiling as he worked until the art presented itself. I imagine thoughts flowing through his mind “There you are, I knew you were in there somewhere.” a deep breath in – and then out. “Wasn’t it worth it?” not needing an answer, “Yes” filled the atmosphere.

When we use our gifts that we have rooted within us, we see results that give validation. Michelangelo related all work to the divine. Spiritual purpose. His art was how he communicated with God. It came natural to him. He felt as if he was capable of any piece of work because he was only following what his duty simply was. He was more than capable, Michelangelo became unforgettable.

Michelangelo suggests perceiving the call God has on your life. In a moment of silence and in the moments of passion we become our most intellectual selves. If we take a step back and follow our souls true desire we become aligned in the path paved for us.

J O U R N A L E N T R Y – P O E T R Y

I will open my arms wide to embrace. My hands out to feel. My heart beating to receive. I will clear my eyes to truly see. I will become a portal to let all of life flow through me.

Everything I touch, hear and see – sculpts me into the woman I was always meant to be. What a beautiful world it is when I put down the tools I think I need – instead I become the tool and everything the divine has dreamed for me.

When I am chosen to write, embrace, love, and create – I feel a deep sense of fulfillment seep within me. Intuition floods my bloodstream, a sensual connection, unspoken and rare.

Lord I feel you in the moments where I surrender. I feel purpose in my present, I’ll embrace this connection now into forever – I’ll tell you all about it in reflection and prayer.

-Sadianne Joyce

A Soft Thought

Morning is such a beautiful concept. Light shines upon us, sneaks through the curtains, the sweet aroma of coffee dances through the air. Our bodies stretch through our slept in, warm sheets. We look around, our eyes awaken. Blink. Our minds begin to think. I’ll keep working on the days where I prepare yogurt with grains and oats. I’ll sit outside and wake with the birds, listening to them each sing so differently. Maybe I’ll shower, let warm water run down my body – waking me even more. Or maybe I’ll play music and hum my favorite, soft songs. I could find my lost page and finish reading the chapter I fell asleep on from the night before. My plants and herbs could be watered, I could pull what would later be used in dinner. I’ll kiss my lover goodbye only to kiss him hello later. Throughout my work day I will take mental breaks and allow short daydreams to inspire. I will think of the evening to come, the sweet preparation of dinner. Conversations that will be had, laughter and random adventure. My shoes come off the second I get home. Time spent together. Candles burning, windows opening. I hear from my family, I feel blessed and pray for continued health and joy. True friends offering fulfilling connections. The days to come will be here when they arrive, because today is wonderful where it stands. Wine enters a glass and a buzz of warmth glistens over my cheeks. My hair will fall loosely, relieving any tension. I will rest my head and before my eyes close, I will manifest the pure luxury in all of life’s simplicity.

-Sadianne Joyce

Eclectic Freedom

NO ONE IS YOU – AND THAT IS YOUR POWER

Rest assured and a deep breath in – you are one of a kind, and one of a kind for a reason. Understand that you don’t need to be understood by everyone. This is what filtered beauty really is. With good practice and soul searching throughout time, I’ve become free from thinking I need to fit into a certain profession, possessions, categories that define who I am. These type of weighing thoughts, or even wants do not exist in my life. This is not where my worth is defined. There’s not certain places I find myself that embody purpose but rather all places.

I value freedom the same way I value love and loyalty – It’s one of the most important aspects of my life. Freedom includes peace to just be. I hold dedication within myself to keep my heart open with not only ease but faith in that ease. I wish for everyone to understand that they don’t need to be defined – they don’t need to fit into a box or a set list of labels. Instead we can resemble all things that weave our heart and soul together. Dreams, ideas, projects, goals, time for all the things you’ve always wanted to do, learn, or visions of who you want to be.

For me, there is gold in understanding that my purpose isn’t in a search but in my current state. I prefer to wake up and be created anew. It truly depends on the day, and at the end of the day it’s important to rest my head knowing I didn’t chase a classification to fit into, I didn’t settle on fulfilling someone else’s expectations or doing what the people around me are doing. Instead I’ll spend my days in leisure with the balance of motivation to be exactly who I am called to be that day.

By nature, I’m only instilled and focused on beauty that resonates within. I wish to be pulled by all that’s alluring to who I am, deeply. I want to be taken to open fields of wild existence, to express and let loose all the parts that shape me. My floating ideas actually keep me grounded. And while some may think free spirits are too fierce, I find that those living in freedom are the most breath-taking creatures to exist. The ones unafraid to be themselves. The ones who express from a genuine place and understand that differences are planted as gifts and it is a pure duty to share.

You don’t have to change pieces of yourself that set you apart from others, these are the parts of you, where the right people at the right time, will show up to admire and love.  

I choose to be limitless. I don’t want to fall under one passion but a multitude. I don’t want to feel pressure when it comes to choosing what’s for me, instead I will be a magnet to all that’s finding it’s way towards me – And when it comes, it will find a home in my ever-growing heart that has a limitless capacity for admiration.

-Sadianne Joyce

Journal Entries: What inspires me? Am I allowing myself the space to create? Am I walking the paths my soul wishes for? A list of collectibles I love. What sparks my rooted gifts and ignites me to dig deeper? Who brings out the best in me? Do I love something for myself because I love it myself? Do I rely on approval by others? Am I fearless in all the right ways? Define eclectic. Define freedom.

My Testimony

 

close up colors landscape picture“The Lord is my Shepard – I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me besides the still waters.

He restores my soul.

He leads me to paths of righteousness.”

He makes me. He leads me. He restores me.

There was no other way. Every day and especially come night, I had a relationship with God – he came in to protect me. When I think of my childhood I think of my Mother. She had an energy about her that gave me safety. Even when her environment was unsafe, my Mother didn’t allow fear to cross her. Gods protection reminded me of my Mom, but I knew with Gods protection that it wasn’t just me that was kept safe, it was both her and I, my sister, my Father, everyone surrounding me – which made my relationship with God a priority. It’s as if he came to me and I surrendered. I knew that all would be okay as long as I followed this feeling and trusted a higher form of care. As a kid our relationship felt like the greatest, private tale of all time, yet it was real. It was existing, sometimes a gut feeling – I didn’t know precisely what this love was, but I knew I would never move in the opposite direction. And it carried me all the way to the next chapters of my life. When I think of my life and the testimony that belongs to me, there is not a certain moment that was a defining moment. My testimony has lived within me since I came to understand the safety that followed after I allowed God to take care of my family and I. Prayer would blossom out of me. I wasn’t taken to church religiously, but my mind understood the beautiful, miraculous wonders that something much larger had to of been the Creator. I wasn’t religious in terms of following a set of rules but I had an undeniable, personal relationship that I embrace to this day. Spirituality is my movement. Everyone around me knew that my experiences were outside the ordinary for a child my age, I grew up fast. I had no other choice, the same way God came in and took care of my life. Our safety. He made me lay down, rest, and realize he was the only one who could restore all of the hurt, fight and confusion.

My mom received a phone call, I heard the detective on the other line tell her to turn around, they found him. “Where is he?” My Mother asked. The detective responded and told her he would speak to her in person. I pushed my head into the seat and prayed the hardest I’ve ever prayed in my life. In that moment I felt the presence of God surround my being. It was clarification, understanding and knowing that the feeling I’ve been feeling, came over my body in full. I was no longer having just a taste of what my relationship was, I became fulfilled. I prayed so hard I could barely breathe. It was my initial reaction, to speak to God. To let him know that I am here. I am with him. He let me know he was with me.

“Please. Let him be okay.” I whispered. I would soon find out that he was. He was no longer in pain. No longer addicted. No longer fighting control. As I prayed, I felt as if my Dad was taking my hair, tucking it behind my ear, rocking me back and forth, telling me, “I am okay. And you will be too. Your mom. Your sister. The days to come. The man who will fill in. I am not far, I am here with you. I hear you, not in the way I used to. But you are all knowing and you will never go a day without my attention.”

The rest of the night is a blur. It could have been the tears covering my eyes or the sound of the scream I heard from my Mom when the detective told her they found my father dead. I stayed in the car when she went in to have the conversation. Looking at my sister in her car seat I wondered how this could be. Tears fell from my face, my sister in my arms. This was now my battlefield. His hurt is gone and ours will worsen for some time. But because God is with me, I will never fail, the pain will not last, understanding will come over my heart, it will take years but it will come. I will never lose sight of the proof that we have a protective God. My fathers death was a grudge that I held for awhile. Sadness turned into anger and anger turned into anxiety.

I fought to forgive my Father for all he has missed and all he will miss out on, for the love I poured from my small being, feeling as if I could have done better… Wishing I would have done more… I forgave him. For making my Mother a warrior, not because she wanted to be but because she had to be, she was a survivor while sometimes feeling like she was losing. I forgave him for leaving. He left me with the most powerful lesson. He didn’t leave me empty handed and I often wonder if he as well, had a relation with God that offered pure peace. It took me a long time to realize this. He introduced the purest, most powerful love. And this is where my strength comes from, the relationship I had with God as a young age. It wasn’t because of the experiences I went through but because of the faith my small being had. Sometimes we go through ultimate darkness so we are made to kneel down, to have one choice but to give ourselves to the one who holds reason and I made the choice to do so. Even when it didn’t make sense, it does now. And I understand that I have been encountering God in special ways ever since.

With arms wide open and a broken heart, anger in my soul, misunderstanding when happiness was present, unknowingly defending all pain, carefully taking myself out of joyful situations because it felt too good to be true, I remembered that this is not what God would want for me. And most certainly not my Father, who wished with his entire being – to give me the very best. I not only forgave my Dad. I forgave myself and let the weights drift from my shoulders. I let go and let God in, again, again and again. And each time I would find that same feeling of guidance, fulfillment, a sense that I was being waited for. Restoration occurred and I am now the woman I am today because of the witness I grew up to be. There is no other way, there is no other choice, God is the center of my life, and the reason as to why the gospel I take in is so moving.

I pray that those who have their own testimony share their voice with others. I pray that those receiving, dance to the gospel.

I pray that those who have not had the opportunity to experience such a relationship, open their hearts and realize the rest will follow.

Trust in this.

The rest will follow.

-Sadianne Joyce

“It takes courage to give voice to what we experience, the way a coyote howls: not just out of hunger, but out of visceral joy at being a part of the infinite secret revealed. In this way, we’re angels wrapped in skin and fur, racing through thicket after thicket because we sense what can’t be seen all around us.” -M. Nepo

Building Tables Instead of Walls

If someone doesn’t relate to the amount of emotion I feel, I will not discredit them. My spirit will remain touched. My source of passion comes from a place of love, and I’ve always said my love is my strongest quality. I will always inform from a place of sincerity and I will always speak when it is beneficial to the quiet that lingers.

I often have to ease into my thoughts before becoming overwhelmed. Empathy, as wonderful as it is to have, no one warns you that it hurts. I once felt that my level of empathy was a problem, especially when I was feeling for scenarios and people that didn’t relate to me personally. I am realizing that this is not a personal problem, it’s a worldly problem and I’m feeling with reason. I feel because I am reacting and I am reacting to something very real. If I could, I’d take away my emotion by taking away the problems – But until the problems are gone, I will continue to feel. I wont be afraid to express and show why my body hurts for others or why my voice speaks for those who are too tired. I will listen although I may not understand. I’ve once been asked how I stay so positive, and it’s not that I never have bad days, or that I never feel down, because I do. Instead I do my best to focus on love over the hate. And sometimes love is taking the time to unravel why something escalates and explodes. Sometimes feeling hurts, but to feel is to heal.

I once read something written by Dr.Powell that comforted me and made me feel validation and connection to others that may relate. “When your body responds to it being cold by the hair standing up, or if you get that gut feeling that something isn’t quite right, your body does a very good job of telling you when something isn’t right. The feeling of anger, frustration, and rage that accompanies moments like this – it’s when we don’t feel it, when we’ve become so numb, habituated, or normalized to it, that’s when we know that there is a problem.”

I won’t build walls, I will build tables – and then I will ask all people, of all backgrounds, religion, genders and races to join me over existence in true communion. I wish to continue my walk into life as a safe place, a support system, a home for comfort and compassion.

Lord I pray, that throughout our living earth we see each other and feel each other as one. Ignite our hearts in places of expression, emotion and change. Let us come together in peace, but in strength. Let us understand that one wrong man doesn’t mirror every man. Let us speak for those who no longer can, let us change the world together and for the better by believing that we can. Let us exchange love and pass each other in love. Let us be reminded that through all things, you Lord, created us to be capable.

Amen.

When we factor the lives of each other, embrace our differences and our conditions of existence, we can stand as one.

We don’t have to fight each other.

We can fight together.

-Sadianne Joyce

Butterflies in the Morning

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I have a special place in my heart for the kind of words that make me slow down and feel. My little sister woke up one morning and looked at me, with a warm smile she exhaled “I have butterflies” I smiled and asked why. “Just because, it’s a new day.” I laughed in admiration. “I’m so excited when I wake up. Even if my only plan is to clean my room.” Time around me paused. When was the last time I woke up and felt excited to clean my room? It’s been awhile, but why has it been so long?

An entire shift in my being was felt that morning. I looked at my sister and felt proud to call her mine. I suppose we all have this option, to feel alive in the morning, whether we are morning people are not, which I most certainly am not – but this doesn’t mean that I can’t flutter within. I too am capable, to acknowledge opportunity and declare the good that’s to come. This is the season where better things are in store. I feel it within. Through the challenges we’ve faced together and the obstacles I’ve fought personally, I’m on my way. To get to our best days we must live through our hardest.

It comes down to perspective. We’ve all known challenge, this world-wide pandemic makes that obvious, but it’s somehow comforting that we’re in it together. A slow reminder that we’re all human. We desire to be heard, cared for, safe under each-other. Our personal obstacles can be shifted into perspective of opportunity. Chance. Time dedicated to fight and seek the reward. We all wake with a choice to be made – It takes the same amount of energy to focus on fear, worry and the thought of failure that it does to live in faith, hope and dedication to make our day worthy.

“The moment you feel joy, the moment you laugh and change your perception, you change your immunity, your body chemistry, and your whole well-being.” D. Mridha

As the sun shows it’s first light, possibility follows. Asking to be grasped. The time has come, and what’s in store is aligned in perfect reason. As my faith expands, my spirit follows. And as I rise, the butterflies will dance.

-Sadianne Joyce

Personal Reflection

“You have to find your own style, and it’s difficult to define what style is. It’s not what you’re wearing; it’s how you wear it. It’s something very personal, and it reflects the way you live and your house, the books you read, the art you have.” -Carolina Herrera

Welcoming Abode + Attire to Studio Strive. A place I will continue to share my soul with my readers but also my style. Style to me has always kept my heart inspired. It’s my walk, my movement, and it’s not something that I’ve created from someone else. It begins as a relationship to what already feels part of me. Sometimes a find feels like a long lost friend. Anyone else have a silk blouse, a vintage frame holding unknown art, a thrifted book or a piece of jewelry, call to them in a way you also feel true love? If not – I’ll explain the feeling best as I can. It’s a form of immediate confirmation. Expression and creation. It’s not materialistic, it’s originality and art. Handmade, handpicked and protected by the heart that chose it.

My blogs new category, Abode + Attire allows me to share my finds, the finds that call me by name, the ones I dance my way to the sound of its voice. Style is so much more than the clothes you wear, the items you buy, what is trending or what relates to fame. Style is the core of your being. What makes you feel good? What adds to your personal touch? Who do you wish to be? If your items would be placed on an authentic quilt, placed as if they were having a picnic between themselves, would they define the best version of you? When the items we own surround us without meaning, our life becomes meaningless and crowded. 

Personal style is accepting who you are, and to begin – we must be aware and unafraid to express all that calls to us. Answer the call and enjoy a life full of creation that resembles the creation that you are. A sight worth reflection. We are meant to have connection, it sets us apart and brings us together. Inspire others and become inspired. Admire style and become style. When we live a life full of art, life never knows boring.

-Sadianne Joyce

A place called Earth

How beautiful to know a place that allows us to take a step back and marvel in the grace of what surrounds us. A place that holds gatherings, where we choose the music we dance to and the conversations we speak – and when we let go of all control, the celebration goes on. A place where we speak different languages and experience cultural differences, but never feel foreign to love and joy, when it is present – it is felt. A place that continues to exist without asking for our effort. A place that gives but doesn’t ask for anything in return. A place that’s too humble, and maybe too giving. A place that deserves the credit and great care our tiny beings can offer. A place that is an ongoing representation of blessing each and everyday. A place that holds a poetic glow when we surrender and observe what a gift it is to be alive. A place we call home. A place that balances mystery and fact in beautiful fashion. A place that has paved roads and altitudes so high our breath can’t fathom. A place that offers art and expression from the smallest to largest creation. A place that mirrors all that we are capable of. A place that we define without realizing Earth defines us.

-Sadianne Joyce

The Temple Within

“The place you are looking for is the place from which you are looking.”

These words feel so fitting, so accurate and relevant. April, you’re here already? Where has my mind been? Searching for places of refuge, a place the unknown can rest. I’ll speak for myself when I say this pandemic has been eye opening. Showing me how it feels to live in a moment that is making history. Stories of improvement and stories of loss are published daily and we as a whole have yet to understand when it will all end. Aren’t we all looking for a place filled with health, compassion, sanity?

Within all chaos hides resting places. Shelters and temples. If we cannot find, we must remember one thing. We were created to be capable. Our capability is to fulfill all of our needs within when we are aligned with God. Even when we are sick, the Lord will comfort. Faith will seep through the cracks of discomfort and mend where we need it most. Fear vanishes when we trust that purpose lives.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Through all mystery and unexplained circumstances I believe in purpose. Through destruction and misfortune I believe that we are given the chance to share emotion that helps mend each other in knowing we are in this together. When gathering is taken away we realize the importance of offering. When materialism is taken away we focus on the beauty of nature, or where we should be tending to it more often. When physical and emotional connection becomes limited we value comfort and the importance of other spirits. When we are isolated we see our true reflection, this time allows us to create anew. An opportunity to focus has been handed to us and it’s our choice to make it count. An opportunity to be thankful for what we do have has arrived.

Journal Entries: How can I dig deep within myself to create a resting place anywhere I am? What thoughts reassure me? Write them down. What have I taken for granted? What activities make me feel whole? Where can I express my thoughts and emotions out loud, to release, to cry, to feel heard? Am I thanking God for what I do have and praying for those who need restored faith? Write your prayers. Write a letter to God. Write a list why your peace and world peace is a priority.

Psalm 23 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.

-Sadianne Joyce

Diving Deeper

My mind wandered across the beach, my thoughts upon the waves, washing clean and back to shore. My feet were cool, resting past the surface level of sand. My body being warmed by the sun, and even more so from the love I felt from the man sitting next to me.

I’ve always dreamed about living a life I wouldn’t need to vacation from. I thought to myself, when I can say this, I’ll know I’ve made it. But something about this moment shifted something for me. I watched the birds dive deep into the ocean and with determination to gather, they would come up – fulfilled. This made sense to me.

The palm trees swaying and children laughing. Birds can always be observed if we look up once in awhile. A page from my book dancing in the wind, reminding me of my attention drifting elsewhere. A couple near by, mirroring what others see when they look at me and Jason. Admiring each other, but perfectly relaxed.

Fulfillment is attainable at any moment, we only need to dive deeper.

On a vacation we take the essentials. Packing lighter gives us room to experience what isn’t materialistic. When we are away, we look at each day as a gift. An experience waiting to happen. Regardless of the season, in a land that isn’t familiar, we make the most of it. We stay hopeful and make the moments count. We make effort to capture memories we surely wont forget. We’ll bring it up years to come and share it over laughter and maybe even tears. These are thoughts I spend present time looking forward to, without realizing I already have it. Here and now. Tomorrow and the next day. Our days outside of vacation are just as numbered.

I looked at Jason and told him, “I love this life.” Knowing I meant I love more than just this vacation. I love the life outside of it. The life we’re going home to. The family and friends. Our daily routines, what we do for a living but even more, our passions. What has passed and what’s in store. I love that everyday can be treated as luxurious as a vacation if we remind ourselves how precious our moments are. I vow promises to myself, in the silence between pages turning and passerby’s – I promise never to rely on time away to feel the admiration I have for this life.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s normal and healthy to enjoy time away from normal responsibility. I’m guilty for indulging in pauses, taking a step back, breaking free. I admire time dedicated to re-centering and becoming re-inspired. This is how we become polished. But what if, in the time away we realized we could be this enlightened on any ordinary day?

We watched the sun glide from one side of us to the other, setting. Slipping us into the night. Another day coming to an end, but not just any day.

I will look forward to this life. Not one day, but everyday.

-Sadianne Joyce