“I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
We all go through phases where our heart wants to stay in. We want to shy away from real emotion because it’s easier. Less effort means less work, zero expectations means zero disappointment. I’m working on this – I’m working on sharing my heart in every day that I have. In personal experience, I’ve gone through hurt – heartbreak – pain. Darkness is not a focus for me, so I tend to focus on all the blooming I’ve done after finding the light. I have not always been positive, in love with life, or forgiving. But after finding my way, which we all do differently – I have become one with the pain that I’ve experienced in my path. I have become one with the loss and the aches that have brought me to who I am today. It doesn’t happen over night and that was a struggle for me as well. But I found faith, I found myself through being vulnerable, by opening my heart in understanding I don’t need to have it all figured out. Time heals, and that it did.
I’ve realized that hurt can only come from a place of hiding, making myself smaller, picking and choosing what I wish to define me. I’ve come to the conclusion that I cannot pick and choose what happens to me, this is the beauty of life – but I can choose how it shapes me. I believe that if we all showed up in the armor that has brought us through the battles we’ve gotten through – or maybe still going through, we wouldn’t be so afraid. We would understand in mutual sympathy. We could tolerate and respect each other for the reason behind our challenges. We could support and cheer with those in need.
Strength has nothing to do with the tears kept in, with the straight face given when emotions run through the bloodstream. Strength is allowing yourself to be who you are and being unafraid to show up in truth.
I’ve always fought my battles silently, feeling ashamed if my life wasn’t what I wanted it to look like – but all of that changed.
I’ve no longer felt afraid to express myself, I’ve no longer felt the need to shy away from being loud in my truth, being able to ask the difficult questions, to connect with others because I am brave enough to show that life is not always pretty, nor is it meant to be. This has allowed me to become one with everything that has happened to me and more than ever, ready for what is to come. My heart has grown, real intentions by real people have brought me to safe places of love. If I receive true intentions and gentle care after I show not only my good side, but all the others, I know that I have found the ones. The people, places, homes that are meant to walk in and maybe even stay, within my open heart.
-Sadianne Joyce











